Sitting at the kitchen table late at night-- the idea of sleep seems like a dream, but I've realized my diagnosis may not be insomnia but rather an addiction to caffeine-- I have a permanent smile, smirk of sorts, on my lips. I just realize how lucky, fortunate and blessed I am. I am aware of all the beauty that's in this world, how I can't go two minutes without witnessing some beautiful thing or another in nature, in life. And what's more, is when I am staring at this beauty, when it is in plain sight right before my eyes and I cannot be aware of anything else, it becomes astutely obcvious where all of this beauty comes from.

In case I'm being a bit ambigious, let me paint a picture for you: It's completely silent and quiet in the house because I have it all to myself, except for the soothing tunes of Josh Garrels in the background. It's a bit chilly because the cool Jersey shore air had yet to turn into that warm, summer breeze, so I'm comfortably wrapped up in my big red Maryland sweatshirt. My bare feet, with fresh red toe-nail polish, are propped up on the chair and my body is completely relaxed. My can of diet pepsi lime (I've lost count of how many that makes this for today) is beside the laptop- and next to me sits a petite glass vase with a single flower looking back at me. It's a type of daisy-I think- with a great big brown center that's soft and fuzzy to the touch, and what seems like hundreds of delicate deep yellow orange petals stretching out to the world around it. I might think the flower were lonely if it didn't seem to be so happy, bright, and smiling back at me.

Upon closer examination, after holding the flower in my hand, feeling the silky, gentle yet strong petals, I am overwhelmed with how much beauty and grace can be contained in this one little flower, this one daisy.

So much love and life and breath was given to this flower from the earth. So much gentleness was put into its growth. So much tenderness into its germination. It smells so sweet too, it almost seems unreal. Like one of those perfect little plastic flower you might buy at the craft store for 3.99- except its so far from that- this is real life. This is beautiful. This is creation.

And as i hold the wet, strong green stem between two fingers in my right hand, I not only see a cute yellow daisy, I see a piece of God himself. If this beautiful little thing were not part of God's creation, then someone please tell me how it could have been made. Everthing about this flower is beautiful. And is perfect. Even though some of its petals are longer than others and stick out at funny angles, and even though the center pollen thingies aren't symmetrical at all, this flower is perfect. I almost want to believe a more perfect flower has never been made. I looke at this flower, this living, growing thing, and thank God for growing it, and thank God for making me.

If this flower is perfect to God, than so am I. I believe that in God's eyes, he has made me who I am on purpose, and I find joy in the fact that I am loved for exactly who I am.