New Friends

To laugh with strangers is a rare gift
when chuckles and giggles come fast and swift
tearing apart any withstanding rift
then you know you have made friends.

A smile from lips unfamiliar and eyes unknown
and pure joy from within that is not your own
when words and gestures, thoughts and care atone
then you know you have made new friends.

When a simple touch on the arm brings a smile to your face
and life creeps on slowly at an enjoyable pace
the sweetness of heaven you can almost taste
then you know you have made good friends.

I abhor anticipation. It makes me very, very nervous and I get this sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach that works its way up to my heart and my mind if I worry about the future for long enough. It's very strange. Like, if I think too much about what I'm doing over the summer, and really start to try and plan things out, I get nauseous. I really hate making plans too, because right before the aforementioned plan is about to occur, my brain wants to bail and not partake in the event. I wish life could be led out of spontaneity completely. Things would be much more enjoyable, fun, carefree, and meaningful then, I shall presume.

Sometimes, I hear a ticking noise, but no clocks or watches or time machines are near by. What could the tick-tock, the click-click-click, counting every single passing second be from?

Dodging rain drops

Today, I was dodging rain drops
running to and fro
playing hide and seek with puddles
with no umbrella anywhere I go.

Although the water fell fast from the heavens
and spiraled down towards the vast earth and ground
I managed to stay dry and warm and
in comfort I abound.

As darkness blankets the concrete roads
shining and glimmering with wetness
I settle in with bread and cheese
and take off my shoes and dresses.

The rain may continue during the night
but I know that come morning and morrow
the sun will be bright and glowing
providing joy and happiness for all to borrow.

Untitled Poem

The peaceful glistening, shimmering, shining of the snowflakes brings serenity to my soul.

The cold soothes the furious fires within my body,

unknots the coil of my stomache, allowing me to breathe.

The brisk January air turns my nose, cheeks and ears to a rosey pink-- a shade of subdued hope.

The flakes catch on my eyelashes and my lips, soft and tingly like a lovers touch, but they leave not love for passion is laking in the cold.

They are prevented from getting to my heart for my scarf, twisted in knots like my insides, is wrapped around my neck, protecting my chest from this winter storm.

Quickly, bouncing along the sidewalk, my red shoes glistening on the concrete, my red coat shimmering with moisture from the snow

Quickly I stroll, hands hiding in pockets, I retreat to my warm den, my comfortable abode.

Prayer

Lord, why do I continue to fail you? How can I judge others, when I myself stand to be judged and deserve to be judged? I don't deserve your love Lord, yet you still love me. I sin and you forgive me and I don't deserve to be forgived. Your mercy is so great Lord. Thank you. Thank you times one thousand.

Lord, please give me strength to be good, to live a pure life, to spend every hour of every day in a way that would honor you. It may not always be easy, and many times I may wish for another way, another life Lord, and I am so sorry for those times, but Lord above all I do just want to bring you glory, to praise you, to thank you. I just want others, my friends to understand your love Lord, and the amazingness that you are. But my actions did not reflect that. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Please give me the strength, courage, and will power not to mess up again. I love you Lord. I always have and I always will.

Books

If I could do anything, I would take a year off- just 12 months, that's all I'm asking for- go and live at my grandma's house at the shore, and just read. I have SO many books to read. I've realized that I have a book fetish. I am obsessed with books, bookstores, etc. BUT I don't have the time to read. And when I do have free time, I just need to let my brain not think because when I'm busy I'm so stressed out that the little freedom it has it just needs to breath and relax. I have about 20 magazines, mostly old National Geographics and Conde Naste Travelers to read, and they are not fast reads either, they take a while. And Im only halfway through my book of Emerson, which I'm loving by the way. And then I just, I can't even list all the books on my book shelf. Novels, non-fiction, Chrisitian books, textbooks. Did I mention I was going to re-teach myself french over break, I got two french books for Christmas, and only got to chapter three in one of them.... and I start my french class (the first one in over a year) at 9 am on Monday! ZUT!!! (which I do remember means "darn" en francais....) And now, instead of rambling on, I could very well be relaxing on my nice warm, comfy bed with Mr. Emerson and my cup of now cool coffee (yes, I am drinking coffee after mid-night... WHY?! ZUT! Je ne sais pas!) and reading and learning and discovering. But no, I am rambling. I like to ramble and read. Read and ramble. Hmm.....

I take time for granted. If you think about it, time is one of life's most precious gifts. Without time you couldn't appreciate the beautiful purples, pinks and oranges painted like watercolor in the sunset or sunrise. Without a split second, you couldn't enjoy a warm and friendly smile. Without minutes, you couldn't have a heart-felt conversation with those you love. Without hourse you couldn't lay in bed, wrapped in warm blankets, and just rest your soul. Without days you couldn't grow stronger, wiser, older. Without years you couldn't live your life to your own grand, miraculous potential. Time is most definitly one of God's greatest gifts. And concurrently, God defies time. He is time. He is moments, seconds, minutes, hours, days, years. He is life. He is my every breath in and out, my every smile. He is the beauty in the sky, the sleep and rest for my soul, the energy in my coffee. It baffles me that so few believe. Why not? What have you got to loose? God is as real as you are. I feel and see Him in everything. He is with each passing moment you experience. That breath you just took, He was in that. These words that you're reading, He is in them. He is.

Hope Chant

Hope for a nation

hope for a generatoin

Love that will soar

compassion that will end all wars

Peace for the people

Righteousness from the steeples

Faith to overcome

strength to come together as one

and courage to perservere

Unity will bring us near

Is it just another day, or is it a new year....

I have always thought that I was born in the wrong decade, the wrong century even. I ought to have been the age I am now at the beginning of the twenties. Twenty in 1920 would have been perfect. Growing up in a time of care-free fun, when women were just coming of age and having a say in the world.