Saturday

Another lazy Saturday afternoon
spent separated from the cold winter day
under the warm covers I lay
on this Saturday afternoon.
With a cup of hot mango tea
I peer out the glass window at the naked tree
see the invisible wind blow the American flag
and cast shadows diagonally across my bed.
The sun streams in so blindingly bright
after passing yet another lonely, quiet night.
Freedom calls my name from the street below
echoing with impatience against all that I know.
Shall I sit, careless, and wath the ruby red cardinals flutter away
Or shall I join in their beckoning song and dance on this lazy Saturday.

Here's something I started a while ago and have kept coming back to over the past several months. Not sure what it all means, still struggling with that and trying to figure it all out.


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Honor rides on his shoulders like a cowboy rides his prized stallion.
Although he has a tight grip on the reins,
beneath his chaps and boots
lies his shame.

Grace rains down from the heavens but doesn't touch his heart
because he wears a rain jacket of selfishness and pride.

He's breaking fast; his bones will soon be ground into powder.

It's raining harder and the skies are crashing and thundering louder.
Where will he turn? What will he do?

Mistakes, like death, cannot be undone
and lies, like natural disasters, cannot be reversed or taken back.
Hurricanes will always result in muddy floods
and earthquakes in broken, disheveled ground.

Similarly, once a man has made up his mind
and acted upon his thoughts,
his actions and the resulting reactions
are set in stone like a civil war memorial statue of a general in all his sinful glory.

The Desires of My Heart

(Taken a few years back at Huntington Beach, CA right at dusk)

The Desires of My Heart:

To love from the deepest cavern of my being,
To love the souls of others and not myself,
To appreciate in nature what I presently am seeing,
To care for my youth and amplify my health.

Spending time with friends, family, lovers,
Finding new knowledge to read, digest, and discover,
Happiness and joy to fill each and every day I exist,
My dreams and ambitions shall forever persist.

But that which my heart desires most
Is to seek His strength in every action and deed,
Drawing near to the Kingdom and bringing glory to my heavenly Host:
This is what will cause my heart to succeed.

Grace

The index of my Bible defines grace as "the undeserved love and salvation God gives."

I had always thought that I understood the meaning of grace: that my faith was partly based on the grace given to me through Christ's crucifixion, but it wasn't until just the past few days that I have discovered the depth and beauty and power of this thing we call grace.

The past few days I spent at a conference called Passion 2010 that was held in Atlanta, GA. There were over 21,000 students and 18 to 25 year olds at this 4 day event. The days consisted of large group sessions with speakers and bands leading worship songs to praise the Lord, smaller sessions called community groups where we got to talk about the struggles of our faith and the inspiration God gives us with family groups of 8 people, and a social justice component. Actually, that was amazing- the students donated over $660,000 to the 10 or 12 social justice causes they had at the conferene- AND THEN a couple in the audience was so inspired and moved by the conference that they wanted to write a check to MATCH that amount. AMAZING! God is SO great!

But going back to the concept of grace, let me begin by sharing Romans 5:1-2 with you:

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God."

I have recently learned and been awakened to the true meaning of the grace that God gives us, through his son Jesus Christ. And it wasn't until I had fallen to the bottom of the pit, until I had given way to sin and been overcome by the sinful desires of my flesh, that I was able to truly grasp and hold on grace and allow God to free me and truly wake me up.

Psalm 119:32 says:

"I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free."

One of the speakers at Passion explained grace in the following way: The cross is where our sinful nature intersects with God's glory and power, thus resulting in the magnificent love and grace that is given to us when we are so completely undeserving and unworthy.

Now that I can feel myself wrapped up in grace, I am completely happy and my heart has never experienced so much joy.

And when it boils down to it, it all goes back to faith. I don't deserve grace, or blessings, or joy from God. But because of my faith, because I truly believe in God and the good news of the gospel, I get all of this and more! Paul explains this in his letter to the saints in Ephesus in Ephesians 2:8-10:

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God -- not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus..."

To close, the following are lyrics from a song we sung in praise at Passion:

"Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty.

Living in Your freedom we see Your glory.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty

We are Yours and Yours is the Kingdom!"